Chapter Two: the butterflies are passive/aggressive

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Two: the butterflies are passive/aggressive

A/N: I’m trying my best to sound like Michael and I guess he sounds like a teenage girl because I’m a teenage girl (so surprising, right?). I’ll do my best to sound more…masculine, I suppose.

Tuesday, October 21, G & T

Mia was sick today.

She looked perfectly fine and healthy yesterday, except for, you know, the fact that Lilly thought that she might be pregnant. And by Josh Richter, no less. I’m thinking of making her a card or sending her a Get Well e-mail or something. I wonder when she’ll be back at school…

Felix decided to sit with the Computer Club during lunch today. He usually sits alone, listening to Ben Kweller or The Vines. Truth be told, I would do the same if it wasn’t absolutely necessary to sit with my fellow Computer Club members during lunch and whenever else possible. (Judith Gershner’s words, not mine.)

"Hey, Felix," I said. "What’s up?" I noticed that Felix had never sat at our table before…well, ever. So why was he now? He had his Walkman in one hand and a hamburger in the other.

"So. Your girlfriend’s sick, huh?" This, I noticed, sparked Judith’s interest.

"Felix, she’s not my girlfriend," I insisted, not wanting to talk about Mia in front of the other Computer Club members. Judith glued her eyes to my face after I said this. She obviously wanted to hear more. Well, I wasn’t going to give her anymore because there was no more to say.

"Dude, Cultural Diversity Dance," Felix said, as if this answered everything. I wonder why he even went to the dance. He had a girlfriend, sure. But he and Lizzy were really not the types to get dressed up, pose for cheesy pictures, and then dance. And I’ve seen Felix move.

It is not pretty.

But, then again, I’m not much of one for dances either, am I? Especially when they include fast dances, which are lame. So incredibly lame. Slow dancing is all right; it’s basically just picking up your feet every few seconds and bobbing your head, I suppose. Or swaying it, anyway.

"Yes, we are just friends though," I said. "I thought we had cleared that up."

"Yeah, whatever. You and Mia are definitely not ‘just friends’," Felix said, rising from the bench. He walked back to where he normally sat, putting his headphones back onto his ears. Why does Felix care so much about whether Mia and I are more than friends anyway? Honestly.

"So, you and Mia? Isn’t she the Princess?" Judith said, her eyes filled with curiosity.

"Yeah, she’s the Princess," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. I stabbed my fruit cup with my fork.

"And you guys are going out?" Judith said with what I swear was a trace of disappointment.

"No, we’re not going out."

"Okay. Sure."

WHY IS NO ONE BELIEVING ME?!

"Wait, you went to the Cultural Diversity Dance? I thought we had all agreed to boy—"

"Wow, would you look at the time? I’ve got to…uh, be somewhere else."

And I bolted.

Later Tuesday, French

"Did you hear that Josh Richter and Lana Weinberger got back together?"

"Yes, Suzanne, I did hear. Hasn’t everyone?" I said to my French partner, Suzanne Chang. Suzanne’s also a member of the Computer Club, like me. Why do people insist on sharing the latest gossip with me? Do I give off some sort of gossipy aura that makes it appear like I care about how Cindy Caldwell’s new haircut looks atrocious, or something?

"Well. Yes. But still, it’s a record. One week. Amazing, right?" Suzanne said sarcastically. Suzanne is the only female member of the Computer Club that I can tolerate for long amounts of time. (Granted, there are only two girls in the Computer Club, Suzanne and Judith.) Well, Judith I can take in limited dosages. It’s not that she’s not a good friend; she’s just one of those people that can drive you crazy if you spend too much time hanging out with her.

"Oh, yes, especially for Albert Einstein’s supreme power couple."

"En francais, s’il vous plait," Madame Luxe chirped. (This conversation, though mostly in English, was recorded to the best of my knowledge. Which, I fear, is currently lacking). Then, Suzanne mumbled something that I couldn’t make out.

"Comment?"

"Uh…" Suzanne, though in Advanced French (French IIII), has failed to retain any of the language over the last three and a half years at Albert Einstein.

"J’ai dit, ‘What?’" I whispered.

"I knew that," Suzanne said, a half-smile on her face.

"You really haven’t been learning much in this class, have you?"

"Pfuit. Maybe I should’ve taken Deustch class. Or Spanish." Suzanne and I really have the most random, meaningless conversations whenever we have a class together, which is basically only French and Health & Safety. We have a lot of things in common, like our tastes in music and dislike of conformity.

"So, I heard that you and Mia are a couple."

"Je souhaite!" I whispered, knowing that Suzanne wouldn’t know what I had said.

I wish.

Wednesday, October 22

TOP TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT MIA FROM LILLY

(Believe it or not, younger sisters can be helpful even when they don’t know that their older brother is in love with their best friend of nine years)

Ten—She loves Fat Louie (her cat) more than anyone or anything in the world. I’ll be having some tough competition, I guess. Ha ha.

Nine—She has a Backstreet Boys calendar in her bathroom. And all of their CDs. If we get together, I will hopefully be able to introduce her to less…mainstream (a.k.a. bad) music.

Eight—Mia knows that I once got teary-eyed over an old episode of Seventh Heaven (I was eleven years old, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!)

Seven—There once was a time when Mia would’ve chosen Josh Richter as her postnuclear Armageddon life-mate instead of me (Okay, more like last week, before the dance.)

Six—(And this was just in passing, as I heard them talking about it…yes, I eavesdropped. Sue me.) Mia has a serious obsession with her…lack of chest area. Not that I’ve ever looked…Yes. Right.

Five—Mia knows how I used to be in love with Britney Spears. And, yes, I had her first CD. I burned it a long, long time ago though, I assure you (Plus, Mia has her Backstreet Boys thing…so, we’re even.)

Four—Her nostrils flare when she lies.

Three—(And I’ve witnessed this numerous times.) Mia appears to have an unhealthy obsession with Lifetime and the Lifetime Movie Channel.

Two—She’s never kissed a boy, except for Josh Richter. (Sadly, yes, but that wasn’t of her own free will.)

One—Mia was never in love with him.

A/N: I’m sorry, but this story is turning out so, so badly. / Please review anyway. Constructive criticism is heavily needed.