Chapter One: you will return to me

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter One: you will return to me

A/N: Since you guys wanted a sequel to The Crackhead Chronicles, here it is (and it is, obviously, the prequel to my first story, Crackhead in Love)! Enjoy and hopefully you’ll review with constructive criticism and comments (and hopefully praise…P)!

Monday, October 20, 7:45 a.m.

You know what’s even worse than public displays of affection?

Seeing your parents being all cuddly and affectionate. Seriously. I mean, I can usually tolerate my parents when they’re normal but this morning, they started acting all weird, kissing and hugging each other every few moments. There are some things seriously wrong in my life:

My parents are overly affectionate with each other.

I have a highly annoying, nosy sister.

I’m not exactly the most social person you could meet.

And…oh yeah, I’m in love with my little sister’s best friend. Oh, and she also happens to be the Princess of Genovia.

Yes, that’s right: she’s a princess.

Anyway, as if her being a princess isn’t hard enough, she’s also the most amazing girl I know. What would she ever see in me, Michael Moscovitz? Nothing. But we did do all of that slow-dancing at the Cultural Diversity Dance two days ago and we talked for the longest time.

Like I wrote before, Saturday was the best night of my life. Nothing can really top that.

Except, of course, the day Mia tells me she loves me. But at this rate, that’ll be never.

She liked Josh Richter and I have nothing in common with him. I’m not popular, athletic (well, I do take a run twice a week but I don’t play organized sports), or have almost every girl at Albert Einstein High School swooning over me. Though, I guess in the long run that’s for the better.

Because I only want one girl swooning over me. No, forget that. I don’t want her swooning over me.

I want her to love me.

I need her to love me.

I mean, she liked Josh Richter.

Why can’t she love me?

Monday, October 20, Homeroom

M—You and "Princess Amelia" were looking pretty…friendly Saturday night. Give Felix all of the details, man! –F

F—There’s nothing to…give. Mia’s just my little sister’s best friend. And, yeah, sure, my friend too. Nothing else.

Dude, there was definitely more than "friendliness" happening there. You looked like you…were in love with her or something. Be honest.

I am. Being honest, I mean. In love with Mia? That’s as likely as you being in love with…Lilly!

Ha ha. But seriously, you have a thing for her, don’t you? Just admit it!

No! She’s just a friend. Only a friend.

Monday, October 20, English Lit

"Okay, class. Now that I’ve had the chance to know you in class, I’d like you to fill me in on your life outside of class. What are some important details that define you as a person?" Well, at least Mrs. Castelli isn’t making us make our own journals, like we had to do in freshman year. But God knows I lied my way through that journal.

Sex? Four times a day!

Okay, kidding about that part but do the English teachers honestly expect us to tell them about everything happening in our personal lives?

Plus, the fact sheet she gave us to fill out is the exact same one we had to fill out as freshmen.

Seniors and freshmen? They’re not the same!

NAME: Michael Robert Moscovitz

Known to peers as Michael. NEVER Mike, Mikey, M & M, etc.

AGE: Sixteen—seventeen in January

YR IN SCHOOL: Senior, or 12th if you want to get all specific

SEX: Male…I think. Okay, little joke, Sharon. But, I’m a male. Seriously.

DESCRIPTION:

Six feet, one inch

Floppy, sort of curly, dark brown hair

Dark brown eyes

Pale, pale skin

Medium build (not Sid Vicious thin but not Fabio muscular either…Thank God)

MOTHER: Elaine Moscovitz

OCCUPATION: Psychoanalyst/Psychologist

FATHER: Landon Moscovitz

OCCUPATION: Psychoanalyst/Psychologist

PARENTS’ MARITAL STATUS: Married. Happily, thank you very much (I can only testify for their positively gruesome affection this morning at breakfast)

PETS: One Sheltie, named Pavlov. He is, obviously, named after the Russian scientist who used dogs and bells to prove there was such a thing as conditioned response and treatment.

BEST FRIEND: Best friend? Felix Matthews, I guess. We’ve been best friends since third grade, ever since Felix gave Josh Richter a bloody nose for taking my chocolate pudding. Too bad that Josh managed to kick Felix in the nether region before they were both suspended.

GIRLFRIEND: I am currently unattached (in simpler terms, I am single…for the time being)

ADDRESS: An apartment on Fifth Avenue. I won’t go into the details too much. The apartment is fairly large and is in the biggest apartment building on Fifth Avenue. During winter break, my family usually stays at my grandparents’ retirement home, which is in Florida.

I have a truly sad life.

Still Monday, G & T

"Oh, my God! Is there something about your date with Josh Richter that you didn’t tell me?" Lilly exclaimed loudly, staring at the screen of Mia’s computer. I was curious as to what Lilly thought had happened so I listened in. Well, it wasn’t exactly hard, to be honest. I could’ve heard Lilly from a mile away.

"Oh, my God, Mia, why didn’t you tell me?"

"I-I’m doing an extra-credit report for Biology," Mia said in a pretty unconvincing tone. Maybe it helps that her nostrils flare whenever she lies. Yes, I noticed that ages ago. And she thinks she’s such a great liar too.

Mia said something about alfalfa sprouts but Lilly just kept on rambling on about Mia and Josh. Then, the word "pregnant" came out of Lilly’s mouth and my eyes widened.

Is Mia PREGNANT!?

With Josh Richter’s baby?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So, I was just listening in instead of working on Crackhead, my webzine. I mean, if the girl that I’m in love with is pregnant with another guy’s baby, OF COURSE I’M GOING TO LISTEN IN!! It’s only natural, anyway.

No, okay, I don’t think she’s pregnant. And especially not with that bastard’s baby.

Mia Richter. Amelia Richter. No, Amelia Moscovitz. Mia Moscovitz.

Well, technically if we get married, I’ll have to take her last name.

Michael Renaldo…Not Thermopolis.

But who even said we’re getting married?

I mean, that’ll be in a decade. Or maybe not.

We may never get together.

Yes, optimistic thoughts, Moscovitz.

Still Monday, 11 p.m.

Isn’t it a coincidence that right when I’m thinking about Mia, she logs on?

Well, no, not really. Because I always am. Thinking about her, I mean.

CracKing: What was with you today? It was like you were off in this whole other world or something.

Hopefully, Mia will be able to look past this façade.

FtLouie: I don’t have the slightest idea what you are talking about. Nothing is wrong with me. I’m totally fine.

Mia is such a liar. But I love her anyway.

CracKing: Well, I had the impression that you didn’t hear a word that I said about negative slopes.

FtLouie: I heard everything you said about negative slopes. Given slope m, +y-intercept (0,b) equation y+mx+b Slope-intercept.

Yes, I am so sure, Mia.

CracKing: WHAT??

FtLouie: Isn’t that right?

CracKing: Did you copy that out of the back of the book?

And then she logged off without responding.

So I took that as a definite yes.

Still Monday, 12:15 a.m.

Mia,

Why can’t you see?

My love for you

Is strong and free

And this poem of mine

Really, really sucks

Oh yeah…

A/N: What did you think of this chapter? Please review! )

Chapter Two: the butterflies are passive/aggressive

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Two: the butterflies are passive/aggressive

A/N: I’m trying my best to sound like Michael and I guess he sounds like a teenage girl because I’m a teenage girl (so surprising, right?). I’ll do my best to sound more…masculine, I suppose.

Tuesday, October 21, G & T

Mia was sick today.

She looked perfectly fine and healthy yesterday, except for, you know, the fact that Lilly thought that she might be pregnant. And by Josh Richter, no less. I’m thinking of making her a card or sending her a Get Well e-mail or something. I wonder when she’ll be back at school…

Felix decided to sit with the Computer Club during lunch today. He usually sits alone, listening to Ben Kweller or The Vines. Truth be told, I would do the same if it wasn’t absolutely necessary to sit with my fellow Computer Club members during lunch and whenever else possible. (Judith Gershner’s words, not mine.)

"Hey, Felix," I said. "What’s up?" I noticed that Felix had never sat at our table before…well, ever. So why was he now? He had his Walkman in one hand and a hamburger in the other.

"So. Your girlfriend’s sick, huh?" This, I noticed, sparked Judith’s interest.

"Felix, she’s not my girlfriend," I insisted, not wanting to talk about Mia in front of the other Computer Club members. Judith glued her eyes to my face after I said this. She obviously wanted to hear more. Well, I wasn’t going to give her anymore because there was no more to say.

"Dude, Cultural Diversity Dance," Felix said, as if this answered everything. I wonder why he even went to the dance. He had a girlfriend, sure. But he and Lizzy were really not the types to get dressed up, pose for cheesy pictures, and then dance. And I’ve seen Felix move.

It is not pretty.

But, then again, I’m not much of one for dances either, am I? Especially when they include fast dances, which are lame. So incredibly lame. Slow dancing is all right; it’s basically just picking up your feet every few seconds and bobbing your head, I suppose. Or swaying it, anyway.

"Yes, we are just friends though," I said. "I thought we had cleared that up."

"Yeah, whatever. You and Mia are definitely not ‘just friends’," Felix said, rising from the bench. He walked back to where he normally sat, putting his headphones back onto his ears. Why does Felix care so much about whether Mia and I are more than friends anyway? Honestly.

"So, you and Mia? Isn’t she the Princess?" Judith said, her eyes filled with curiosity.

"Yeah, she’s the Princess," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. I stabbed my fruit cup with my fork.

"And you guys are going out?" Judith said with what I swear was a trace of disappointment.

"No, we’re not going out."

"Okay. Sure."

WHY IS NO ONE BELIEVING ME?!

"Wait, you went to the Cultural Diversity Dance? I thought we had all agreed to boy—"

"Wow, would you look at the time? I’ve got to…uh, be somewhere else."

And I bolted.

Later Tuesday, French

"Did you hear that Josh Richter and Lana Weinberger got back together?"

"Yes, Suzanne, I did hear. Hasn’t everyone?" I said to my French partner, Suzanne Chang. Suzanne’s also a member of the Computer Club, like me. Why do people insist on sharing the latest gossip with me? Do I give off some sort of gossipy aura that makes it appear like I care about how Cindy Caldwell’s new haircut looks atrocious, or something?

"Well. Yes. But still, it’s a record. One week. Amazing, right?" Suzanne said sarcastically. Suzanne is the only female member of the Computer Club that I can tolerate for long amounts of time. (Granted, there are only two girls in the Computer Club, Suzanne and Judith.) Well, Judith I can take in limited dosages. It’s not that she’s not a good friend; she’s just one of those people that can drive you crazy if you spend too much time hanging out with her.

"Oh, yes, especially for Albert Einstein’s supreme power couple."

"En francais, s’il vous plait," Madame Luxe chirped. (This conversation, though mostly in English, was recorded to the best of my knowledge. Which, I fear, is currently lacking). Then, Suzanne mumbled something that I couldn’t make out.

"Comment?"

"Uh…" Suzanne, though in Advanced French (French IIII), has failed to retain any of the language over the last three and a half years at Albert Einstein.

"J’ai dit, ‘What?’" I whispered.

"I knew that," Suzanne said, a half-smile on her face.

"You really haven’t been learning much in this class, have you?"

"Pfuit. Maybe I should’ve taken Deustch class. Or Spanish." Suzanne and I really have the most random, meaningless conversations whenever we have a class together, which is basically only French and Health & Safety. We have a lot of things in common, like our tastes in music and dislike of conformity.

"So, I heard that you and Mia are a couple."

"Je souhaite!" I whispered, knowing that Suzanne wouldn’t know what I had said.

I wish.

Wednesday, October 22

TOP TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT MIA FROM LILLY

(Believe it or not, younger sisters can be helpful even when they don’t know that their older brother is in love with their best friend of nine years)

Ten—She loves Fat Louie (her cat) more than anyone or anything in the world. I’ll be having some tough competition, I guess. Ha ha.

Nine—She has a Backstreet Boys calendar in her bathroom. And all of their CDs. If we get together, I will hopefully be able to introduce her to less…mainstream (a.k.a. bad) music.

Eight—Mia knows that I once got teary-eyed over an old episode of Seventh Heaven (I was eleven years old, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!)

Seven—There once was a time when Mia would’ve chosen Josh Richter as her postnuclear Armageddon life-mate instead of me (Okay, more like last week, before the dance.)

Six—(And this was just in passing, as I heard them talking about it…yes, I eavesdropped. Sue me.) Mia has a serious obsession with her…lack of chest area. Not that I’ve ever looked…Yes. Right.

Five—Mia knows how I used to be in love with Britney Spears. And, yes, I had her first CD. I burned it a long, long time ago though, I assure you (Plus, Mia has her Backstreet Boys thing…so, we’re even.)

Four—Her nostrils flare when she lies.

Three—(And I’ve witnessed this numerous times.) Mia appears to have an unhealthy obsession with Lifetime and the Lifetime Movie Channel.

Two—She’s never kissed a boy, except for Josh Richter. (Sadly, yes, but that wasn’t of her own free will.)

One—Mia was never in love with him.

A/N: I’m sorry, but this story is turning out so, so badly. / Please review anyway. Constructive criticism is heavily needed.

Chapter Three: I’d Love to Love You

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Three: I’d Love to Love You

A/N: Okay, I admit it: Some of your reviews made me giggle. Giggle? Yes, giggle. All of you reviewers are so nice and gorgeous and I love you all! (Insert giggle) Okay, just wanted to say thank you for making me smile every time I open my mailbox and see a new review. D Oh, and thanks for not thinking it sucks too badly. Ha ha.

Thursday, October 23

Okay, I sent her a get-well message. It took me about fifteen minutes to make it. (What can I say? I work fast…okay, perverted thoughts.) I just hope that she likes it. It shows a cat that’s supposed to be Fat Louie doing a little tap dance. And…I signed it "Love, Michael."

Yes. Love. Because it’s true, isn’t it?

I’m so in love with Mia that it’s gotten rather pathetic.

I smile at the thought of her. I feel my face grow hot whenever she looks at me. I feel my heart pounding extra hard every time my hand touches her when I grab for her pencil.

It’s so nice to be in love. Even though, you know, it might be unrequited.

But I’m hoping not.

Oh, I just got an Instant Message from Felix.

ALT3R3GO: Dude, we broke up.

CracKing: What? You and Lizzy?

ALT3R3GO: No, no. The band.

CracKing: Wow. Really? Why?

ALT3R3GO: Jimmy says that his mom is making him quit the band because he’s been failing Deustch. And there’s no other decent guitar player in school.

Um, I can play the guitar pretty well. Except, of course, only Mia knows about that.

CracKing: Oh. That really sucks.

ALT3R3GO: You’re telling me.

And then he logged off. Felix isn’t much for greetings or saying goodbye, I suppose. Maybe I could offer to play in his band. Well, actually, I’m hoping to keep this whole instrument-playing thing a secret. Plus, I might want to start my own band in the near future.

Boris has been playing some new music on his violin. Apparently, it’s Bartok. I haven’t passed out yet but I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time…It’s not that Boris is bad at playing the violin (on the contrary, he’s amazing), but he just chooses the most annoying pieces to play.

I was flipping through The Atom, the school newspaper, when I came across this article:

Frisson and Fruit Flies: An Interview with Judith Gershner

By Melanie Greenbaum

Recently, I was able to conduct an interview with Judith Gershner cloner of fruit flies (she did this and won last year’s science fair). This is a very exclusive interview and can only be found in The Atom.

The Atom: Hello, Judith Gershner. Thank you for doing this interview with us at The Atom.

Judith Gershner: Oh, um, no problem. I’m happy to oblige.

TA: So, I understand that you cloned fruit flies last year for the Albert Einstein High School Annual Biomedical Technology Fair. How is this done, exactly?

JG: Well, it’s a rather difficult process. First, you have to—

TA: Is it true that you have a crush on a certain fellow Computer Club member of yours?

JG: W-What? Wait, I thought this interview was supposed to be purely about sci—

TA: Please just answer the question, Judith.

JG: Well, okay, fine. The answer is (pause) no.

TA: I noticed you paused before you answered. So, I am assuming that you are not being entirely truthful.

JG: I, uh, have to go now.

Very productive, huh?

Friday, October 24, Homeroom

MIA IS BETTER!

I was happy to learn this when Mia and Lars rode over in Mia’s limo. Lilly said that she thought it might be…okay if I came along, though she didn’t look very happy at the fact that her older brother was tagging along. Hey, I did need a ride. I mean, I could’ve driven myself if I had a car (and if anyone in New York actually had a car).

I casually said hello and she said hi back. I was wondering if she was going to comment about the virtual card I made for her but she didn’t. Actually, at the breezy way she said hello, I was afraid that maybe she hadn’t even gotten the card. Oh, no. Mia probably thought the Love at the end of the letter was completely platonic. But…it wasn’t.

I asked her, in the limo, if she had seen Tuesday’s episode of Buffy. She smiled, nodded, and said that she did and what did I think of it. This started a rather heated discussion and it continued as we came out of the limo and headed into the school. I was so caught up in the conversation that I forgot to act all cool and debonair.

Ha ha. Like I could ever be cool or debonair.

I can hear Gwen Shayne murmuring to one of her equally snotty friends.

"Oh my God, did you hear about that party Reese is throwing?" Gwen said cattily. "Like, it’ll probably be a geekfest! I heard that there were going to be freshmen there. I mean, like, ew."

"Well, duh, Josh’s girlfriend is a freshman," Cindy Halter said just as nastily. "Oh my God, she thinks she’s so cool but if she wasn’t dating Josh, she’d just be another little freshman geek."

"Yeah! I know."

What has happened to society?

Friday, October 24, French

He…wouldn’t…stop…

Seriously. I had to go to the nurse’s office to ask for an ibuprofen. But she just said how that would be a violation of the school drug code. Ibuprofen. Is it really that dangerous? In the end, I trudged back to G & T and Mia gave me some of her codeine cough syrup, which cleared my headache right up.

Just before I left to go to the nurse’s office, Mia started talking about…mail.

Lilly was rambling on about her stupid show, Lilly Tells It Like It Is. Mia asked her if she was still receiving a lot of fan mail from her stalker/obsessed foot-fetish fan, Norman. Then, Mia mentioned that she had received some very intriguing mail lately. Then, without looking up from my keyboard, I think she was looking at me.

But I wasn’t exactly sure.

I hope she was though.

Later Friday

I am trying to do my best here.

Why, Sharon, WHY? Why must you give us innocent (snort) seniors such cruel, personal assignments?

Why does she want to know my favorite shoe brand? She gave up a list of questions she wants us to answer.

So, I guess I’ll just have to answer them.

Even if I really, really don’t want to.

Damn you, Sharon. Or maybe you’re not supposed to spite your teachers in your journal.

Who knows?

Favorite Color: Blue. And red. And black. You know, there are just so many, I can just pick one. I hope that’s okay, Sharon.

Favorite Fruit and Vegetable: Favorite fruit? Strawberries, I guess. And my favorite vegetable? Well, I guess I like carrots.

Favorite Movie: All of the Star Wars movies. Okay, I can’t just pick one for this either. They’re just all so good.

Favorite Musical Genre: Indie and rock, I suppose. Very into Adam Green, Bright Eyes, BK, (Ben Kweller), The Thrills, The Shins, The Stills, The Moldy Peaches, The Beatles (I was raised on them…as any good child was), Azure Ray, Ramones, Rooney…and well, just a lot of different bands.

Favorite Book: Wow. Okay, I’ve read a lot of books in my sixteen years and yet again, I don’t have just one pick. I rather liked Catcher in the Rye. Lots and lots of curse words.

Favorite Food: Scones. No, pancakes, pizza, pasta. Just a lot of foods that start with "P."

Conformity, Yes or No? NO! I am totally against conformity, especially if you wish to conform to one of those mind sucking, garden bush waving, hair flipping demons. In other words, if you wish to become a cheerleader.

Favorite Actor: Harrison Ford

Favorite Actress: Sarah Michelle Gellar

Random Childhood Memory: I have many memories of pancakes and receiving kicks from my younger sister, Lilly. I wish not to delve any deeper into my personal history than that.

First Kiss: I am not at liberty to discuss that. Thank you very much.

Role Model/s: My parents, I suppose. We have instilled a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. It has worked out rather well for the last ten years.

A/N: Bad, bad, badness!

Chapter Four: now and again it seems worse than it is

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Four: now and again it seems worse than it is

A/N: I am very, very pessimistic. But thank you all SOOOOOOOOO (okay, teeny moment) much for reviewing! Forty-one reviews for three chapters! squeal Haha.

Saturday, October 25, 12 p.m.

"So, Mia, Shameeka, and Tina are spending the night, honey?"

"Yeah," Lilly said, shoving a spoonful of Cap’n Crunch into her mouth.

Why must Mia be coming over the night that there’s a lecture about quasars at Columbia? I mean, they really do pick the worst timing to have sleep overs, so I can’t even leave my shirt off and pretend like I didn’t know they were there, watching Valley Girl or some other equally draining movie.

"Are you two going anywhere tonight?" Lilly asked, hopefully.

"Oh, no, honey," Mom said, smiling warmly. "Your father and I are staying in tonight. We’ll probably rent a movie and get some dim sum from Number One Noodle Son."

"Oh," Lilly said, obviously disappointed. "And you’re staying home too, like always?" She said this to me.

"No, actually, I’m going to a lecture about quasars over at Columbia," I said. "It’ll probably be a couple of hours."

"So exciting, Michael," Lilly said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I rolled my eyes and left. I walked to my room and started working on next month’s issue of Crackhead.

I was busy at work on an article titled "Subliminal Messages: Mind-Controlling Messages through Music" when the phone rang. Trust me, I’m not much of a person to spend all day talking on the phone to who knows who so I didn’t exactly dive for the phone, hoping it was Anna Blaire, calling to fill me in with the latest gossip.

After a few moments more of ringing, I finally grunted and picked up the phone. We really need Caller ID, or something. It was Kenny Showalter.

Me: Hello?

Kenny: Uh, hi. Is Michael there?

Me: This is him.

Kenny: Oh, can I speak to Michael?

Me: (sounding slightly confused) This is Michael. Who is this?

Kenny: Oh. Um, sorry. This is…Kenny. You know. From the Computer Club.

Me: Kenny? Oh, hey, Kenny…what’s up?

Kenny: Judith wanted me to call all of the members and ask if they want to go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show on Halloween night.

Me: (sounding happy—I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show) Really? Yeah, that sounds great.

Kenny: Okay. So, Judith said we should all invite friends, if we want to. I had this one girl in mind.

Me: Oh, really. Who?

Kenny: …Just this girl from my Biology class.

Me: Oh, okay. Who else besides me is coming?

Kenny: Uh, Judith, Suzanne, Shaun…you know, the whole Computer Club. Could you ask Lilly if she and Boris want to come?

Me: (hesitantly) Er, I guess so. Okay.

Kenny: Okay. Well, uh, see you on school Monday.

Me: Yeah. See you then. Bye.

Kenny: Bye.

Maybe I should ask Mia…

Okay, that was what I was thinking after Kenny asked me to come, seeing as I am the treasurer of the Computer Club after all. But would she want to come? Especially if I asked her? No, probably not. She might think that I’m trying to ask her out on a date or something…which I might be. But I could explain how it’s a group outing and how it’d be cool if she could come.

Yes. Good plan.

Saturday, October 25, 10 p.m.

Okay, so tonight wasn’t such a waste after all. Except, you know, for the fact that the lecture I had been planning to attend was canceled. I actually took the subway to Columbia and when I got there, there was this poster advertising the lecture. Then, in big red letters, was the word: CANCELED.

So, I basically went there for nothing. But still, it was nice just checking out the campus for a few seconds that I might attend (if I get accepted, that is…I applied early) soon. With a sigh, I walked back to the subway station and took the subway back again. Boring, if you ask me.

So, after I got back, I walked up to the apartment. I greeted my parents. They were surprised to see me back so early. I told them that the lecture had been canceled an headed for my room. I was walking by Lilly’s room (and, for some reason, the door was open) when I saw the girls (including Mia, I noticed) crowded around the window. Mia was holding something; a vegetable, I thought.

That’s when Mia dropped the thing she was holding out of the window. My eyes widened and I ran into Lilly’s room. What the hell was happening? Her friends seemed surprised to see me there, and I threw my arm around Mia’s waist and pulled her backward not go gently, I’m afraid.

"Are you guys stupid, or what?" I said, sounding angrier than I had intended. "Don’t you know, besides the fact that it’s a good way to kill someone, it’s also against the law to drop something out a window in New York City?" Couldn’t they think of something better to play? Like Jenga? Man, good times.

"Oh, Michael. Grow up. It was just a common garden vegetable," Lilly said in a disgusted voice. I felt myself growing angry. It was probably Lilly’s fault that Mia almost could’ve been spotted throwing the vegetable out of the window.

"I’m serious," I said. "If anyone saw Mia do that just now, she could be arrest." Mia’s face contorted into a look of utmost terror.

"No, she couldn’t," Lilly argued. "She’s a minor."

"She could still go to juvenile court," I insisted. Why can’t Lilly ever admit that I’m right and she’s wrong? "You’d better not be planning on airing that footage on your show." I added, indicating the camera she was holding.

Honestly, Lilly. How dense are you?

"I most certainly am."

"Well, you’d better edit out the parts that show Mia’s face."

Lilly looked at me as if I was some way underclass subordinate. "No way."

I took a breath and reluctantly let go of Mia’s waist.

"Lilly, everybody knows who Mia is. If you air that segment, it will be all over the news that the princess of Genovia was caught on tape dropping projectiles out the window of her friend’s high-rise apartment. Get a clue, will you?"

"Lilly, Michael’s right," said Mia’s friend, Tina Hakim Baba. "We better edit that part out. Mia doesn’t need any more publicity than she already has. Too right you are, Tina.

Lilly got up and walked over to the window. She started to lean out but I quickly jerked her back.

She really does need a clue. My God. Amateurs.

"Rule Number One," I said. "If you insist on dropping something out the window, never, ever check to see if anybody is standing down there, looking up. They will see you look out and figure out what apartment you are in. Then you will be blamed for dropping whatever it was. Because no one but the guilty part would look out under such circumstances."

I mean, I should know.

Hey, I have a… bad boy side. Seriously. I do.

"Wow, Michael," said another one of Mia and Lilly’s friends, Shameeka Taylor. "You sound like you’ve done this before." Well, that’s because I have.

"Let’s just say I used to have a very keen interest in experimenting with the earth’s gravitational pull."

I noticed, with delight, that Mia was beaming admirably at me. I smiled slightly in her direction and told them not to even think about dropping any more projectiles out of the window unless they wanted the Drs. Moscovitz to find out about their antics.

Mia has rather nice pajamas with little yellow ducks and pink rabbits.

A/N: You know what to do. D

Chapter Five: my princess of the whales

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Five: my princess of the whales

Sunday, October 26

"Tune in tomorrow night to see Beverly Bellerive’s exclusive interview with America’s royal, Princess Mia!" I nearly choked on my pancakes when I heard that an hour ago. There have been commercials every five minutes, advertising an interview with Mia. When was this interview? Why didn’t Mia tell anyone anything?

And I know for a fact that Lilly wasn’t aware of this interview, because she spit out her Froot Loops (though my pancakes were heavily guarded…Thank God) and ran over to phone, to call Mia, I assumed. Then, she left the room so I couldn’t even hear the conversation.

I did hear Lilly screaming: "NO BIG DEAL?? You were interviewed by Beverly Bellerieve and it was NO BIG DEAL?? Don’t you realize that BEVERLY BELLERIEVE IS ONE OF AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR AND HARD-HITTING JOURNALISTS, and that she is my all-time ROLE MODEL and HERO??" Well, of course I knew that. All Lilly ever does besides bitch about school, yell at me, and film her show is OBSESS OVER BEVERLY FREAKING BELLERIEVE!

I personally don’t find Beverly that good at what she does. But I wouldn’t dream of telling Lilly because then she would kick me or something. And, trustme, you never want to be on the receiving end of one of her kicks, especially if it’s toward the nether region.

Then, when she came back into the kitchen, looking satisfied, she had the nerve to criticize the music that was blasting from my headphones. "Oh, my God. Who is that guy? His voice is so whiny. Turn it off!"

"Well, at least I don’t listen to the Backstreet Boys," I said scathingly, fully smirking. Lilly turned red and stomped off.

Well, at least the remark had done its job.

And, as my friend Trevor once said:

"Dude, Conor Oberst totally owns. He’s the mack pimp daddy of indie. But, those boy band dudes are damn hot. Man. That Justin Timberlake has one nice ass. I’d like to smack that booty. Hot damn."

Okay, he was being sarcastic.

I think.

Sunday, October 26, later

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

I just went to Number One Noodle Son with Paul and Suzanne. Was it just me or did I detect some flirty vibes between those two? They sat next to each other when we finally found a booth and when I dropped one of my chopsticks, I went to pick it up and I noticed that their feet were sort of…playing with each other.

Well, I guess that it’s okay if my two good friends want to go out. But if they end up breaking up, things will really, really suck. But, I’m not saying that they’ll break up, but really, it’s sort of inevitable. Especially since they’re still young and all. Actually, they have a lot in common. I’m almost surprised that they didn’t get together before now.

Or maybe they did and they’ve been keeping it a secret from me this whole time.

But why would they keep their relationship a secret from me?

I mean, come on! I’m Michael. MichaelMoscovitz…computer geek. Like I would have anyone to tell.

So, we were all discussing how Thom Yorke’s voice seems to change on every Radiohead album and that somehow turned into a heated discussion about Conor Oberst and how Paul would turn gay for him (insert weird look here). Then, we were all sharing a big bowl of wonton soup when I see Mia enter the restaurant. I nearly choked on my roast pork as I watched her go up to the counter and pay for whatever she had ordered. Unfortunately, she didn’t see me and made a prompt departure.

Suzanne seemed to notice this and snickered as she whispered something into Paul’s ear.

I can only imagine she said something like: "Oh…My…God. Did you see that? Did you see that? Michael totally just choked on his roast pork. Well, that’s not the thing I’m pointing out. But, anyway, he noticed Lilly’s friend, Mia. Yes, the princess. No, she’s cool. Yeah. Yeah. I know! He totally likes her!"

Isn’t it obvious?

Monday, October 27, Health and P.E.

The whole school is literally buzzing about Mia’s interview with Beverly Bellerieve, which airs tonight. I really want to see it myself. But something weird happened on my way to Calculus class. Well, not weird, so to speak, but something involving Lana Weinberger.

After G & T, Mia, Lilly, and I were walking down the hall together since we were all going to classes that are across the hall from each other, when Lana Weinberger walked up to MIA AND ME, held up two of her fingers, and waggled them at us (Mia and me). She said, in her snobby voice, "Are you two going out?"

And I just knew that my face turned as red as a tomato. I was so flustered and surprised and just so…red. But I noticed that Mia had turned bright crimson, as well. Then my heart dropped, because she must’ve been embarrassed at the mere thought of going out with me. Then, Lilly totally snort laughed and said, "As if!" Then Lana and her "friends" started cackling. It was honestly so, so mortifying.

But I like the idea of us going out. Ha ha.

"Dude, you’re supposed to be writing about herpes, not babbling in your diary!" Felix hissed over at me, though playfully. I said, just as cattily, "Well, dude, first of all: It’s a journal, not a diary. And secondly, why the hell would I want to write about a STD?"

"Whatever, man," Felix said, returning to his essay about the joys of herpes. Fun times.

The Icelandic Whales

By Michael Moscovitz

Your euphonious voice

Fills my mind

With thoughts of utter ecstasy

Is it my fault?

Or are you the fool?

Can’t you see?

The whales call for you

They never look for me

There you go

Unrequited love is better than no love at all

The wind weeps softly

And maybe we’ll hear it

Someday

Your heart can’t fade away

Don’t let it fade away

My vegetarian princess of the whales

You search for what I never knew

You’re beautiful in every aspect

Every way

Maybe you’ll never see

All I ever wanted was to be

Chapter Six: she’s got something to say to me

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Six: she’s got something to say to me

Tuesday, October 28, 3 p.m.

Hey, I love you.

If only it were as simple as that.

Because I’m pretty sure that I might’ve been able to muster up the courage to say that this morning on the way to school in Mia’s limo. I offered to go over her Algebra homework with her and check to see if her equations were all right. She was beaming at me so brightly when I told her that all of the problems were correct. Our fingers brushed when I handed her back the paper. I noticed Lilly glaring at us throughout this transaction.

So, I guess you could say that life is treating me very well right now. Very well.

Anyway, instead of getting fired, Mrs. Hill is now actually doing her job. Wow. Principal Gupta gave her a warning but now, Mrs. Hill is watching all of us like a hawk, never leaving her chair. It’s kind of scary, to be honest. And we can’t even lock Boris into the supply closet either! No. We’re forced to listen to him playing Bartok.

Lilly has apparently been writing a book about the socioeconomic divisions that exist within the walls of Albert Einstein High School. I didn’t even know about the book until Mia started begging Lilly to read it. I even offered to publish it in Crackhead, but she had to get all snotty about it and said she was holding out for a "legitimate" publisher. How idiotic is that?

After a few more moments of Mia’s begging, Lilly said in her scary voice, "If people don’t stop bothering me about the book, I’m going to fling myself off of the top of the school water tower." Actually, that’s not exactly possible anymore because when I was a freshman the seniors decided to pull a prank and pour a bunch of tadpoles into it.

The Computer Club meeting after school was much less than productive. Kenny and Judith couldn’t stop talking about how much fun it was going to be at Rocky Horror. And then Kenny said he had invited Mia. I, of course, told him that I had already invited her and he said that he thought I might’ve, seeing as how Mia mentioned me.

This, of course, sparked my interest, and I asked what Mia had said about me.

"Well, I was asking her if she wanted to come with us all and she asked me if one of my friends was you," Kenny said, his eyes literally lit up. "And, of course, I said yes." Okay, so I was expecting a little more than mentioning me in passing.

But, hey, it’s a start.

Tuesday, October 28, 10 p.m.

"Um, hi. Can I have a…"

That voice…

"No. With the sauce on the side…"

So familiar…

"Yes. Thank you."

I was at Number One Noodle Son (which is obvious by now, but I go there about three times a week…sometimes more) when I heard a strangely familiar voice. And there she was. Her. It was the same girl that I had liked for so long. Her long chestnut brown hair was now shorter. Her liquid black eyes were as big and bright as ever.

Samantha Baker. She was dressed all in black, a big change from her all-pink wearing days. I hadn’t seen her for years, ever since she had moved away. Samantha stood at the counter, looking all around the restaurant. I tried to hide myself from her view but she noticed me almost right away. And, if I still liked her, I would have been ecstatic that she actually knew who I was.

"Michael? Michael Moscovitz? Is that you?" Samantha said, gazing right into my eyes.

But I didn’t feel nervous. I mean, why would I have been nervous?

I love Mia. And only Mia.

"Yeah. Hi, Samantha," I managed to say. She then walked over right in front of my table, her eyes glowing.

"It’s so great to see you! How long has it been? Four years?" Samantha said, not really asking me so much as asking herself. I nodded my head, smiling slightly.

"You look…different. What happened to the pink?"

"Oh!" Samantha exclaimed, looking down at her black ensemble. "I gave that up a year ago. I finally realized that cheerleading, to me, is just…mind sucking. I don’t know. What’s the point of waving around pompoms and wearing these disgustingly short skirts just to cheer on a football team?"

"I know what you mean," I said, before I could stop myself. "Not that I ever cheered…" Samantha laughed lightly.

"You look different yourself," Samantha said, scanning my face. I stuffed some cold sesame noodles into my mouth. "Older, I guess. Who would’ve known that you would turn out to be so cute?" Gee, thanks. I didn’t know that I was so terrifyingly unattractive before, I was thinking. "Well, not that you were ugly…Actually, I used to sort of have a crush on you back in eighth grade." I nearly choked on my sesame noodles.

"W-what?" I said before gulping down some water.

"Yeah, I used to think you were so smart and funny. And you had really nice eyes, I remember thinking," Samantha said, not meeting my eyes. She turned her head and saw that her order was ready. "Oh, hey, I have to get going. I’m only in town for the night. It was really great seeing you again, Michael."

"Yeah, nice seeing you too," I sputtered out. With one last smile, Samantha walked away, got her food, and left the restaurant. I was a bit dazed by what had just happened.

Samantha Baker had just admitted to having a crush on me when I was practically in love with her.

How much does it suck that I never told her how I felt?

A/N: Great scones, great scones. You know something that’s even greater than scones? Reviews! )

Chapter Seven: i want you to want me

Crackhead in Confusion

Chapter Seven: i want you to want me

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews!

--

Wednesday, October 29, Homeroom

Hormones are very strange, powerful things.

Lilly and I were standing in front of our apartment building, waiting for Mia to pick us up in her limo, like she does just about every morning. I saw the limo and pointed it out. Lilly walked to the door, opened it, and got in. I quickly followed in after all. Lilly looked across the seat and the Pop Tart she had been chewing dropped right out of her mouth. I looked up and my mouth gaped open a little too.

There was this guy with overalls and a flannel shirt, sitting next to Mia. My first thought was: Is that her BOYFRIEND?! But then Mia must've noticed our expressions (but, really, they weren't hard to miss) and quickly introduced the plaid-clad guy as her cousin Hank, from Versailles, Indiana. Though it isn't pronounced "ver-sigh." No, in Indiana the town's name is pronounced exactly how it looks: "ver sales."

But, hey, who am I to judge a town?

Wednesday, October 29, G & T

Oh, God. Lilly's really going to get it now.

Yeah. She and Hank? Yeah, they're gone.

They've gone missing.

I just know it. Lilly has officially gone crazy in my book. I noticed her being excessively flirty with him throughout lunch (though I was sitting with the Computer Club, as always, so I couldn't exactly hear what she was saying). But I swear that I saw her mouth the words interesting and Transit Museum in the same sentence. And that's how I knew that she is insane.

But, now that I think about it, the situation is rather amusing. Who would've known? The bitchy sister of Michael Moscovitz and Hank, the country boy from Indiana, are missing. Mia doesn't seem to find it as amusing as I do though. Boris finds the situation extremely depressing. I mean, if I were him and my girlfriend (though that girlfriend wouldn't be Lilly for obvious reasons) left with some "hot farmer dude from Versailles" (as I overheard Gwen Shayne saying to one of her fellow cheerleaders), I would be sad too. He won't stop playing Mahler and even Mrs. Hill agrees that shutting him in the closet is the best way to keep our sanity.

She let up sneak into the gym and steal some exercise mats to help muffle the sound. But, unfortunately, it isn't working and the constant playing is driving me crazy myself.

"For all we know, Lilly and Hank could've been kidnapped by Libyan terrorists," Mia said, extremely convinced.

"I find that highly unlikely, Mia," I said, shaking my head. "It's more reasonable to assume that they're enjoying an afternoon of skipping class and watching a showing at the Sony Imax Theater." She didn't seem to believe this though, and went back to doing whatever she had been doing before we started speaking. Writing, I think.

Maybe in a journal. Like me.

Wednesday, October 29, 6 p.m.

Okay, everything's all right. Lilly came back a little before five, which is what I said when Mia called, sounding concerned. I asked her what the hell she was doing for the last few periods of the day and all I could get out of her before she slammed her bedroom door on my face was, "Just walking around." Yeah, I'm so sure, Lilly.

I've been talking to Judith for the last fifteen minutes and she won't let me get a word in before basically answering herself or asking more questions.

SCINCERULZ: Hey, Michael!

SCINCERULZ: Hello?

CracKing: Hey.

SCINCERULZ: What's up?

CracKing: Not much. Just working on Crackhead.

SCINCERULZ: Oh! Cool. I really loved last month's issue.

CracKing: Thanks.

SCINCERULZ: Yeah, so Halloween's in two days. I can't wait to go the Rocky Horror.

CracKing: Yeah, me too.

SCINCERULZ: Oh, so Lilly and Boris are coming?

SCINCERULZ: Oh! Yeah, they are. Suzanne is bringing Paul, I think. And isn't Mia coming?

SCINCERULZ: Oh, yeah, she is. This is going to be cool. Don't you think?

SCINCERULZ: Hello?

She, of course, typed all of this in a matter of twenty seconds so it was really kind of difficult to reply without her shooting out more questions and answering them herself.

CracKing: Hi. Hey, I'm going to go. Bye.

Then, of course, I just logged into my other username, InOurDarkestHour, and continued working on Crackhead. I've been writing this small little article about how trick-or-treating isn't only for kids and that people of all ages (or, rather, people under eighteen) deserve free candy once in awhile. It's pretty pointless but I haven't really thought of many good topics to write about lately. Maybe that's because all I've been thinking about is Mia.

Well, not really. I've also been writing some new songs and reading some books by Issac Asimov. There's a collection of his books in the library and I've been hoping to buy them at the end-of-year book sale. And, I don't have demerits and students with no demerits get a discount on books at the sale. So, I'm pretty sure this is going to be a good school year. Until, you know, it ends and I go off to college. Then I won't be able to see Mia everyday.

So, now I am drinking hot cocoa with cinnamon and Maya's making some gingerbread men. Only God knows why she's making them in October. But Maya loves to make dessert: it's one of the many things she's excellent at and she knows it. She's a really great, kind woman. I think I'll miss her too when I leave for college.

Hey, I'll probably miss everyone.

But I won't miss anyone more than Mia.